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Part One : The Four Dimensional Handshake

Many of our readers should be aware of, and indeed familiar with the "four dimensional handshake". This afternoon, DIONYSUS QUORDLEPLEEN weighs up the pros and cons of shaking hands with people at different times and in different places.

ADVANTAGES

1. You don't have to be physically near to the other person.
2. You can shake hands when you're ready.
3. You can do it in a crowded room.
4. You can do it with your hands in your pockets.
5. You can do it with your hands in someone else's pockets.
6. It significantly decreases the transfer of germs.
7. It looks great.


DISADVANTAGES

1. You may not be prompted to shake hands.
2. You may forget to shake hands if you put it off.
3. Speculative handshaking may cause embarrassment.
4. Precautionary handshaking shows inferiority.
5. You might hit someone.
6. Your handshake may be mistaken for a wave.
7. It looks stupid.


So, to conclude, short distance 4D handshaking is perfectly acceptable for intelligent home and industrial use, whereas long distance and out of sight four dimensional shaking should be left to the professionals.

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