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1) Jrupgy was born in a toad, near Doncaster, in 1363 BC. 2) Jrupgy is 13th in line to the Hungarian throne. 3) Jrupgy lives in a 13th century porcelain imitation tent, in a caravan park in Cuba. "It's quite well lit." he told us. 4) Jrupgy lives with his thirteen mothers and fifteen fathers, who all look exactly like Bill Wyman. 5) Jrupgy is a devout muslim, and often enjoys a friendly game of nude twister with the local religious dignitaries. 6) Jrupgy's first job was hosing down the pope. 7) Jrupgy used to own a pet goat called Simon Bates, but it sadly died. "I hit it with a shovel", he explains. 8) Jrupgy's hobbies include frowning at gravel, and not being a member of chart-topping rock band "Sinitta". 9) Jrupgy was discovered to be fluent in 68000 assembly language at the age of three, despite never having being taught it. 10) Although Jrupgy enjoys the Easter festivities as much as any other buddhist, one thing he won't find under the Christmas tree is a brand new Mazda. That's because he doesn't like them. 11) Jrupgy doesn't like elephants. 12) Jrupgy used to abuse alcohol, but has recently started drinking it instead. 13) Jrupgy once drank seven pints of lysergic acid dithylamide in one afternoon. 14) Jrupgy has had several death threats from glove manufacturers, who object to his collection of milk Y fronts. 15) Jrupgy was once mistaken for a history text book! 16) In the summer of 1984, Jrupgy encouraged a group of Australian aborigines to set up home in his innards. 17) After an accidental overdose of gamma radiation, Jrupgy once began to sprout foliage. "It was right good, it was." 18) Jrupgy owns a big red bicycle. "But you'd better not print that, or I'll kick you in." 19) Jrupgy invented paint in the early 1900s. 20) Jrupgy once coloured himself in transparent with his magic crayons, to gain free entry to the local lending library. 21) On April the 12th of August, Jrupgy made a vow to kill any top-ten dance acts which use hi-hats. 22) Contrary to popular belief, Jrupgy doesn't snore. 23) Jrupgy is huge, blue, and pyramid-shaped. 24) Jrupgy has 2.4 O levels, and a home-made PhD. 25) Jrupgy once went shopping, but forgot the beans, and got stabbed by his mother when he went home. 26) Jrupgy claims that his body contains less than 4% carbon. 27) Jrupgy is a virgin, unlike his son, Dougal. 28) Jrupgy is unable to see, hear or smell, but finds his way around thanks to his incredible sense of balance. 29) Jrupgy is sexually attracted to the number 27. 30) Jrupgy's phone number is a Fermat prime. |
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