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When Phranc was young his family were very poor. So poor, in fact, that they couldn't afford a house, and had to live in an old hot air balloon that they found in a skip. Phranc, his mother and father, and his eight brothers and sisters all lived in the balloon, with their chickens, their sheep, and their pet Giraffe, David. Phranc's earliest memories are of his mother "weighing anchor", and climbing down a rope ladder with a huge bag of washing, on her weekly visits to the launderette. Life in the balloon was inconvenient, to say the least, so Phranc was glad when his job as UCI cinemas bad guy earned him enough money to allow him to move out into a balloon of his own. Phranc had never enjoyed such freedom before, and made the best of it. He would spend all day watching the international bowling on SKY Sports, (He had a satellite dish installed), and in the evenings he would weigh anchor over a suitably built-up area, and spend wild evenings getting hideously pissed. Many times Phranc staggered back up his rope ladder with some young tart he had impressed with tales of his heroic ballooning exploits. One day, Phranc woke up with a terrible hangover, only to discover a police aerial surveillance team, attempting to arrest him for being drunk in charge of a hot air balloon. ("Is this your balloon, sir?") Phranc was having none of it, and a high speed balloon chase ensued.Sadly, Phranc was eventually captured, despite cunningly hiding behind several clouds, and he was dragged off to court while his balloon was clamped. |
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