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A man who had his entire skeleton surgically removed so that he could marry it has died, obviously. Carl Pizz, of no fixed abode, Bedfordshire, hit upon the idea of marrying his own bones after falling madly in love with them at the age of about eight. Pizz, who was mentally ill, paid a team of the world's stupidest men several thousand Francs to extract the bones, in a mammoth twelve hour operation/piss-up. Following the successful completion of the procedure, the extracted skeletal segments were painstakingly re-assembled, utilising Gloy. In this way the entire skeleton was re-constructed, in roughly its original layout. Mr Pizz and his skeleton were then married in a traditional, if ghastly, ceremony, in some village church or other, by self-confessed "world's evilest man", the Reverend Daniel O'Shelves. The bride looked radiant in a matching ivory gown, as the rest of Mr Pizz was wheeled tortously towards the altar. The happy couple then exchanged their vows, to the sound of the church organist's rendition of the theme from Tron, and the congregation's horrified screams. Sadly however, their married bliss was to be short-lived. Mr Pizz passed away shortly after their honeymoon, which was spent in sheds, due to complications arising from no longer having a skeleton, in the usual sense. The widowed bones have been binned. |
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