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[Picture of Rolf Harris, preferably with thumbs up.] How many times have you been stopped in the street by a policeman or concerned resident and been ordered to take your tiger back indoors? Frustrating, isn't it? There's nothing more relaxing than a stroll in the summer sunshine with your beloved tiger. A change in the law could soon make the situation more difficult. The "Tigers At Large" Bill (2000) is due to be enforced in late 1998, and imposes several restrictions on the use of tigers in public areas, notably "thou shalt not tek thi' tiger ont' street". [Crude fake photo including (i) elderly pedestrian, (ii) annoyed policeman, and (iii) ruddy great tiger.] Free Market Ogre plc have used revolutionary stealth technology to overcome this potentially volatile situation, and are proud to present the "Tiger Hider". Our transorbent fibres and advanced knitting capabilities have allowed us to mass produce the world's first cloaking device aimed specifically at the tiger. Tiger Hider is guaranteed to keep tigers invisible to the naked eye, telescopic devices up to 50x100 magnification, passive infrared, CCTV, customs X-ray machines and police radar - EVEN WHEN WET. [After photo. Exactly the same, but with the tiger completely removed, and the policeman smiling.] The tiger's natural camouflage is perfectly suited to a tropical jungle, but is completely useless on a Rotherham council estate, in the Botanical Gardens or anywhere in the winter. Tiger Hider comes in three great flavours: urban, rural and polar. [Three tiger silhouettes, flood-filled with bricks, leaves and whiteness] So, then, wherever you may be, you CAN take your tiger out without the fear of a life behind bars for both you and your stripy feline friend. Tiger Hider - only $79.95 from Halfords. * Tiger Hider is now available in Cub Size. |
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