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weren't good-ish enough to go on John Fanzine. ie. Not very good-ish at all really. Some of it may raise a giggle though, if you're drunk or something. Here's the list. (Some content may offend) |
| MAN MARRIES OWN SKELETON |
The forerunner of the first ever news story on johnfanzine.com. Not too bad actually. |
| SIX SCANDAL |
Pseudo political claptrap written when I was young and daft.
Reference to John Major's "government" shows its age. |
| FRIENDS EPISODES |
Rude but not funny. |
| TALES FROM THE GLOOPY MINSTREL |
One character who did make it onto johnfanzine.com - though these stories
didn't. See if you can guess why. |
| HAMMER'S HINGE PEOPLE |
Short and silly. |
| ROBOCOP |
Software to "automate the process of pulling birds on the internet" ?
Hmmm... Richard Hawkins is a friend of mine by the way, and I was probably
only jealous. :-) |
| WE'RE ALL GOING TO HELL |
Weak satire. |
| JRUPGY |
Random facts about a fictional character with a silly name.
Crap, apart from the bit about Sinitta. |
| BREEZE BLOCK ORCHESTRA |
Drivel, though I still like the idea of an illegal orchestra for some reason. |
| FREE MARKET OGRE |
One of Phil's. I'm not even sure this is supposed to be funny. |
| POLICE |
Ooh! Satire! |
| RAVE! |
Some nicely written and quite funny ideas in this, but I never managed to
finish it. Intentionally out of date, even at the time of writing, it was
originally intended to publish it ten years after the summer of '88. |
| MAYONNAISE |
A stupid rant thing I wrote after being unable to buy a mayo-free sandwich once. |
| 4D HANDSHAKING |
Some nonsense written by Phil in the days of the original paper john Fanzine.
(About ten years ago) |
| PEK |
The last sentence is the only funny bit. |
| COURT CASE |
Absolute gibberish. This must have been when I first discovered beer. |
| TIGER HIDER |
More of Phil's surreality. Didn't quite make Neural Netto. |
| COMPASS ENTHUSIAST TOLD OFF |
Absurdist pseudo scientific drivel. |
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Einstein P Haemoglobin's PARTICLE ARTICLE |
An unedited brain-dump about a mad scientist character we never used.
A couple of okay ideas in there. |
| THE DENGAR AND BOSSK SHOW |
I think this was originally going to be an animation starring two star wars
figures. Kind of like Adam and Joe but not funny. |
| THE DENGAR AND BOSSK SHOW 2 |
More of this rubbish. What were we thinking? |
| PHRANC |
Poorly written unfunny gibberish. |
| GLUM |
Good old Glum. I did this one before he went all 3D and stuff. |
| JOHN FANZINE INTRO 1 |
The text of the original johnfanzine.com intro. A perfume ad with a few
words changed, in case you didn't realise. I may dig out the Flash movie
and stick it on the John Fanzine archive page actually... |
| JOHN FANZINE INTRO 2 |
The second John Fanzine intro, with the German. Originally an ad for a
set of bathroom scales. ("Step on the fanzine by both feet...") |
| JOHN FANZINE INTRO 3 |
This was going to be one of those silly intros where we change the words,
but unlike the ones above this didn't really work.
I think it was originally about toffee or something. |
| JOHN FANZINE INTRO 4 |
As above. This one was originally from some technical manual. |
| TRAIN SPOTTING IN THE AFTERLIFE |
Written by Kev Adlam for the old paper fanzine. Not great but he'll probably
be happy to see it here. :-) |
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None of this material may be re-used unless you're a complete and utter imbecile. Top of page |